Anxiety.

I feel it is safe to say that you can not understand Anxiety until you have experienced it yourself. Over the years I have heard people talk about suffering with Anxiety, I have felt for them and given my sympathy.

I am very new to Anxiety and wouldn't wish it upon anyone, it is horrible. Your body gets spooked by something, maybe having to face a large room of people or having to visit the dentist... which is when your body goes into 'fight or flight mode'. My Anxiety is most definitely linked to my Ulcerative Colitis. When I get panicked I start shaking/trembling and my knees go to jelly, I sweat, cry and get a feeling of having to flee the current situation. For me, it is definitely flight mode ha.

It is the strangest feeling to have your body react almost independently to your own rational thoughts. What's worse is that you know you are being silly but that does nothing to stem your body's panicked reaction. Afterwards I can find the funny side to having jelly legs, but it is exhausting and leaves you drained. The rush of adrenaline is crazy and your body is just off doing its own thing.

At times it gets incredibly frustrating as there are times I want to go places but the Anxiety will trigger and by the time the sweating, trembling, jelly legs and crying have all stopped... I'm too tired to go out.

I have been lucky in the fact of not suffering with Anxiety until now. I get anxious when I need to be at an appointment or when I am meeting someone at a set time. I don't want to let the people down but I have no control over by body's reaction. I used to think Anxiety was a bad case of nerves, but after suffering with it myself I can see and know first hand how debilitating it can actually be. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. 

I have read that Anxiety is common amongst the Ulcerative Colitis, Crohn's Disease and IBD community.Which when you think about it, isn't that surprising. I wish someone had pointed this out to me before hand as I thought it was something I had brought upon myself. 

Turns out we all get anxious about needing bathroom trips whilst out and about or fearing we will leave friends standing alone as we dash off home to the comfort of our own bathrooms.  

I am determined to over come it as I am doing with my Ulcerative Colitis and everything else life seems to think is appropriate to throw my way! Bring it on world... I'm ready for you!!